And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”
And Abraham replied, “What.”
God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.
And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”
To which they responded, “Gay.”
And thus, god made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.
Russell Brand telling Westboro Baptist what’s up.
I think I may be gayer than originally planned
If you can’t lose the weight then you’re just fat. But if you lose too much, then you’re on crack. You’re damned if you do and you’re damned if you don’t, so you might as well just do whatever you want.
Kacey Musgraves (via nevermindtheb0ll0cks)